A Man's Heart

We asked a diverse group of 60 men to rate how important the following qualities are when choosing a wife. Here are their responses from most important to least important. 

  1. Morals/Values (MOST IMPORTANT)
  2. Self Confidence
  3. Physical Appearance
  4. Sex Drive
  5. Sense of Humor
  6. Career Oriented
  7. Domesticated

Gender Differences

  • Women live an average of eight years longer than men.
  • Men are usually stronger and able to run faster and lift more weight than women.
  •  Men have XY and XX chromosomes; women have XX chromosomes.
  • Men have a greater amount of the hormone testosterone, which increases their tendency toward aggression and physical activity.
  • Men lose weight faster than women due to the lower ratio of muscle and fat.
  • Men have a higher metabolic rate than women.
  • A man’s blood gives off more oxygen than a woman’s .
  • Women have greater endurance than men.
  • A woman’s capacity to exercise is reduced two percent every 10 years, whereas a man’s capacity is reduced by 10 percent over the same period.
  • Men are often physically aroused by visual stimuli, women are usually aroused by touch, caresses and affection.
  • A man’s skin wrinkles later in life than a woman’s skin.
  • Our brains function differently. The male is more left-hemisphere controlled (logical) and the woman is more right-hemisphere controlled (intuitive, emotional).
  • Men and women are anatomically different, for instance the man’s pelvis is narrow; the woman’s pelvis is broad for childbearing. 

Lasting Love

Have you ever wondered about the inside of a truly happy, lasting marriage? Here's what two couples that have been married more than two decades have to share.

 

The Scotts (married 36 years) 

Mr. Clemmie

1. What was it about your spouse that caused you to choose her?

My wife is the direct result of my prayer to God for the wife He had for me. I had experienced a few broken and bad relationships with women. I finally had enough. I got on my knees in the basement of my house and prayed literally for God to bring me a wife. I didn’t know that it was the Holy Spirit leading me at the time, but it was. 3 months later I met Pam. Pam had everything that I wanted in a woman. She was attractive, gentle, kind, and smart. She was as focused on me as I was on her. I had a “knowing” in my heart that she was the one for me.

2. What has significantly changed in your relationship over the course of your marriage?

Intimacy has significantly increased in our marriage over the years. We outgrew our natural emotional (human) love and obtained the love of God for each other. This pushed our level of intimacy off the charts. I adore and admire my wife! I love her more now than at any point in our marriage.

3. How did the addition of children affect your marriage?

Our children were all blessings and we love them very much. Our challenges came from inconsistencies with discipline. This stemmed from our different family backgrounds. I grew up in a military family where disrespect for authority was not an option. Everything was orderly and regulated. Pam grew up in a large family where many things were shared and natural inconsistencies between her siblings were accepted.  As a result we “bumped heads” at times. Our oldest son’s teenage years were the hardest. He got hooked on drugs and it was very difficult for both of us to accept. We had many arguments over approaches in handling him and the situation.

4. How have you personally grown as a result of your relationship?

I have grown in humility, I extend grace to my wife when there’s a disagreement, I’m more attentive to her and our marriage, and I’m better at listening to her. I have more value regarding her opinion, input and suggestions than I had when we were younger. For example; I’m willing to stop and ask for directions when we are driving and I can’t find an address. I have also grown in patience as well as communicate better with her. We have better discussions regarding financial matters and also plan for appointments so that we can arrive early or on time (I hate being late for stuff).

5. What has been your greatest victory as a couple?

Becoming one flesh by allowing God to give us new hearts and a new spirit. When you allow God to give you His heart and love for your spouse, you will see them through God’s eyes and with His love for them. This binds the two together with Jesus; like a three-braided cord which is not easily broken.

Mrs. Pam

1. What was it about your spouse that caused you to choose him?

I was literally an answer to my husband’s prayer. At the time I was not looking for a husband. I had just divorced and had not had any real positive relationships in my past. I was content to move on with my life without a husband. The Lord opened my eyes to see him and to see his heart.

2. What has significantly changed in your relationship over the course of your marriage?

My changing relationship with God changed our intimacy level and richness with each other. The physical was good but the Lord brought us to a place where the physical and just as importantly, the emotional intimacy, became even better. My relationship with God taught me how to truly be intimate in a deeper and more satisfying way with my husband.

3. How did the addition of children affect your marriage?

They are all blessings and different; needing to be loved differently but none more than the other. Having children has shown me what my heart looks like. From being a mother and as a parent, I see the way that God sees us. Children have caused me to take on different roles - a protector especially at younger ages, a provider, teacher, and a guidance counselor. They have caused me to look at my own heart and caused me to want to be able to love them unconditionally as God does (but not so much that I can’t be a disciplinarian physically, mentally and spiritually, when needed). My children have taught me that I have to love them at their various ages and phases of their lives since each one is different and requires different things.

4. How have you personally grown as a result of your relationship?

I have become more transparent and comfortable in who God has shown me I am in our marriage. I have grown more confident in my role as a wife. I have accepted and embraced the idea of being held accountable in my marriage since being engaged with other women in  ministry, Bible studies and fellowship. I have an “iron sharpens iron mentality”.

5. What has been your greatest victory as a couple?

We withstood a storm that tried to destroy our marriage by really going after God and those that He placed in our lives to help. We allowed God to be God in our lives. 

The Jourdans (married 52 years)

Mr. Clarence

1. What was it about your spouse that caused you to choose her?

Her extraordinary intelligence and extremely attractive physical attributes.

2. What has significantly changed in your relationship over the course of your marriage?

The depth of our knowledge about one another.  Our recognition and appreciation of our oneness.  (The two shall be one)

3. How did the addition of children affect your marriage?

Having children helped us to appreciate and accept our roles and responsibilities as parents.

4. How have you personally grown as a result of your relationship?

I’m able to truly love and be loved.

5. What has been your greatest victory as a couple?

Our spiritual growth and ability to share our testimony of living according to God’s divine triangle with others.

Mrs. Gezeria

1. What was it about your spouse that caused you to choose him?

At first (in high school) it was his physical appearance. He looked good and his teeth were impeccable; just perfect. His dressing was excellent from head to toe.

2. What has significantly changed in your relationship over the course of your marriage?

We have grown closer over the course of our 52 years of marriage.  We are spiritually solid in the triangle the Lord has placed us in. In our relationship, the Lord is the head of our lives.

3. How did the addition of children affect your marriage?

Children did affect our marriage. We had to share ourselves with our offspring. However, we consider our 3 children a blessing. This has also made our bond closer.

4. How have you personally grown as a result of your relationship? 

While sharing in our couples ministry, there were some things we thought we knew about. Then we realized we had only touched the surface.  This first thing we were taught was that we were in a triangle (with the Lord being the head of our marriage).  I always knew that the Lord was in our lives but I didn’t know that everything I did included the Lord. He was involved and a part of this union; both the  good or bad choices that I made. I feel we have set a good example for our children by living a Christian life regardless of if we had a little or a lot. We know that prayer does change things and accept whatever His decision is. We know that it’s always for our good.

5. What has been your greatest victory as a couple?

The greatest victory in our lives as a couple is getting through all our ups and downs. We have endured the test of time and I’m loving my husband more each day.